The daily grind

We were home alone today, daddy abandoned us to go back to work.  It's funny, I never contemplated that Tom wouldn't be pleased to get some independence back, yet he said he was dreading it and got upset when he was leaving this morning. 😔

I was a little concerned, but then I do have my mum around most days for a bit of respite should I need it, which is great to have in the back of your mind.

The health visitor came to see us, she is pleased with everything and Leo has officially gained his birth weight back and an extra ounce on top. A good 9lb 1oz.

I asked her about my cuddle to sleep concerns and she said whilst he is so small just keep doing what I am doing but around 4 -  6 weeks I need to be working on progressing away from that. Make use of a dummy for soothing to sleep, a suggestion that has been made to me a couple of times now.  I have ordered an orthodontic one in readiness.

I did try putting him down after feeding last night, it was very successful so I didn't persevere.  I hate the thought of winding him up.


Some interactive time

A cheeky Netflix session

Grandma she-she time whilst I ate my lunch


We also took the reusable nappies for a spin today, we used two and they worked a treat.  Going to have to pluck up the courage to use them out and about though!




Outdoor adventure.. Not impressed!

And another nap and daddy was home!


All is well

New treats

We went out and purchased a new car seat today, as you can see; Leo loves it!

We had one that was part of a travel system that we had kindly been donated by Tom's brother and sister in law, but we wanted to buy a new all terrain pushchair with a lie flat option, so no longer needed the travel system.

Travel systems are great, but you are only supposed to have them in the car seat for 2 hours at a time, so in my mind, at that point they aren't really worth the effort. You have to carry the bassinet part of it in the boot most of the time anyway so having the ability to clip in and out then doesn't really mean anything. Yes, if they fall asleep on the way back home you can carry them into the house, but their time in the chair is still limited.

So we decided to bite the bullet and buy a really good, static car seat.  One that is really highly rated and he can use for quite a few years, so an investment. We opted for the  Cybex Sirona, whilst it being pretty pricey, it is also top of its class for safety so worth it for that alone.

We have ordered the  Out n About nipper pushchair  which will arrive today and should make smooth riding a bit easier!

Next step, to change car as ours is too small! It's amazing how much kit one tiny new addition can bring! Tom is on a research mission and a half at the minute, looking like a second hand Skoda Octavia estate is on the cards, just got to find out how to get rid of mine as it still has finance on it.

Next step

The fact that I cuddle Leo for about 20 mins before I put him down after a feed worries me that I am making a rod for my own back as far as dependency goes, so I have a plan.

There are times when he is out cold after a feed, really limp limbs and totally zonked. I am going to put him straight into his crib on those occasions now and work my way up from there. It's so tricky to pluck up the courage to make changes when you have a good little routine that works, but I really don't want to establish a bad habit that's even harder to break. I'm quite happy how I have been doing it so far as he is still in his first two weeks.

Watch this space!

Self soothing

You hear a lot about self soothing and how, after a bit of pain, you have a baby that can deal with its own emotional state and sleep and waken without requiring parental intervention.

As with everything I come across, I like to do my research. I found an article during a late night feed session last night, discussing why the term self sooth is misleading and can actually be detrimental to your baby's emotional wellbeing, immediately and in the future; as well as actually affecting the way the brain develops physically. As I always like, it also has scientific research papers to back it, rather than purely anecdotal. I haven't looked deep into the ins and outs of the research and whether or not the case study is broad enough however.

The conclusion I have drawn is that I won't be self soothing. Leo is so laid back,  I would never want to do anything to affect that and for the sake of a 20 min cuddle post feed, I'm not prepared to jeopardise that. He isn't at the age yet where part way through the night waking without requiring a feed is an issue, but when he is we will be using far less intense methods to address it.

Another session of good babying!

Last night was a dream. We had some really good runs of sleep and just an hour and a half of awake time around 9pm

I want to start with the clear definition of night and day time so made sure curtains closed and all quiet at 7pm. We managed tea together in the kitchen with the monitor and I made sure not to speak to him or around him at all until 6.30 this morning when we woke up properly and opened the curtains.

Exciting

We got some proper interaction time today which was lovely, following his little rattle and my fingers with a tigger sock on them.  He's also getting much better at holding his own head up which is a good step, I think!

I want to introduce some nappy off time soon as it seems such a shame they are constantly covered up and also some tummy time.. Now he's entertainable, games can be thought up!

He has been fairly unsettled today though which worries me for tonight, he has had really random feeds for very short times.. Not sure why, I'm guessing he has never been that hungry and I should've persevered with waking him up properly to feed or getting him to sleep..

He's now napping, so will see how long that goes on. I can't imagine my evening will be as it was yesterday however.. Time will tell

Something about the darkness

It brings a sort of darkness in my mood with it. It's frustrating for me, he is such a good baby but I still get this feeling of dread as the night draws in.. Maybe tonight he will turn into a nightmare child, maybe tonight I will have a screaming ball of inconsolable neediness and I won't know how to fix it.

I'm getting good chunks of sleep, yet I don't feel rested.. Every second of sleep feels snatched and is only a semi sleep. There is no blissful drifting off, I have to actively force sleep on myself and the longer that sleep eludes me, the more tense I get as I know the chance of him waking draw ever nearer. Once in the sleep, the slightest noise rouses you and with it a sense of panic as you wonder if your baby is OK.

Going and doing things in the day also brings anxiety with it. Have I got everything, will he have a meltdown when we are out, if so, do I have everything I need? Have I put him in the car seat properly? Is he OK? What if I get stuck in traffic?

There is literally no let up and it is a constant battle to not convey that tension through to Leo as that can only be a bad thing. Lots of deep breathing and relaxation techniques and plenty of talking to Tom.. And cuddles.

I have it easy and it just feels endless, I dread to think how those with a problem baby cope. I couldn't even manage my tea tonight and it was the first time we have been in the kitchen together and left Leo with the baby monitor.

I know it will get easier

Good babying Leo

So last night was a good night in the Burgin household. The cluster feeding of the previous two evenings had clearly done the trick on the milk production front and we managed some great sleep runs.

Tom and I managed to have tea together, have a cuddle whilst catching up on some Netflix and then I managed about an hours sleep before next feed. Half an hour feeding was followed by a 20 min settle and 2.5 hrs of sleep.

We then had a feed and a totally awake hour and a half then another run as before. The whole time I managed to keep Tom from having to wake, which was good.

When Leo does his awake time, we are blessed by the fact he doesn't cry, he just gets grizzly if he is doing one thing for too long as he is wide awake. He spent a good 15mins looking at the fairy lights that I have above his change mat last night, which was super cute and gave my arms a rest..

Fingers crossed we get a run like this until he has his next growth spurt, it makes it bearable!