Slave to the snooze

All my days are structured around Leo snoozes. It's quite tricky to achieve, but sleep is so important in their developmental process that it's not something I feel I can ignore.

He's pretty solid on needing to sleep every two hours in the morning and then he normally seems to go a bit longer in the afternoon, but I think it depends on the length of his morning snoozes. I'm currently tracking sleeps and keeping a log of his mood and how well he goes down each time.

I know that by the time I have figured out a pattern, it will all change but I love keeping track of things like this, so no time wasted.

It's harder now for sleep than it used to be as he is far more interested in his surroundings now, so means he doesn't ever snooze on my knee these days if we're out. I have to use the carrier or the pushchair. I'm sure plenty of people would have an opinion on my crutches that I use, but I think of them as my tool kit and Leo's sleep is way more important to me than what others think! He's happy, so I'm happy

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My little water baby

Swimming this week was great fun, all of a sudden he has started splashing around and kicking like crazy. He was absolutely loving it, so much so he was furious when I got him out!

It's ridiculous how much he's come on with everything over the last couple of weeks, it's so incredible.

With the development, comes the frustration. He is so desperate to crawl, he just can't get the coordination as I guess it's really quite tricky. As his bottom comes up and he tucks his knees up, he drops onto his face. He then proceeds to shout about it and thrash his legs around, it's very hard to just sit and watch, but I will only get involved if he really gets upset; other than that I sit where he knows I am and stroke his back periodically to calm him a little.

He had his first little head bump yesterday too, he rolled over and I had put him a little too close to the cabinets so he bumped it.. A few tears and a very guilty feeling mummy and all was well. His bathroom antics are now quite energetic and we have a hard tiled floor, so I have ordered some foam tiles to put him on. They will also be warmer as he has his nappy off time in the bathroom whilst I am showered and getting ready for the day, now I won't have to worry about him cracking his head on the floor!

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Evening of excitement!

I decided a good few pre midnight waking sessions were in order again, Leo was snoozing but it was his noises that wake me I think. It got to midnight and he started fidgeting on and off, so dummy in and again at half past. I could hear a strange noise coming from the heater, and on investigation, the internal workings were sparking! Nice and safe, so I had to set to and move the wardrobe to unplug it!

Then I woke at 1 and couldn't doze off due to what feels like rsi in my right forearm, so I thought I might as well get up and express, but seemingly I fell back to sleep. I woke at 3.30 to Leo moving about and me being absolutely drowned in milk. My entire tshirt was soaked and the duvet too! I then had to feed Leo first for 15 mins and proceeded to soak myself even more!

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Happy Feet

Watching Leo grow up is so addictive. He's a big boy for his age and really very content and happy the majority of the time. It makes bonding with him really easy, as most of the time I have with him is spent playing, reading, walking with him in the pram or carrier or with him on the play mat or floor, all chilled out things to do and he's clearly engaging in all of the activities, even if it is just to stare at us and eat his hands.

Work is really busy and full of very interesting projects right now. The things we want to do, from scratch and upgrades, continue off way into the future and will keep us coding away for years. It's a great opportunity for me to learn all sorts of skills, migrations of all sorts, new languages, new development styles, new processes and to document it all so we have a working knowledge base. I've been very lucky getting the role I have now, especially after the first couple of years of living up here and really not enjoying my role at all. Definitely moved company at the right time and now can't see myself moving for a long time unless we move out of the country (very unlikely) or someone offers me a cake eating job (I like cake). It was always a source of great concern for Sarah and I think we're now just happy with everything. It makes life a lot easier. Or at least more cake focused rather than worrying about real things.

My wonderful family came to visit me at work on Wednesday. It's been an odd week thanks to my boss getting his dates wrong which has led to me working from home four days and then having Wednesday in work. Not complaining at all! It was really nice getting to finally introduce Sarah and Leo to all the people who play a major role in my daily work life (boss, close colleagues, evil financiers of doom). I always used to think that it was weird that people would bring their children in to work, but now I have Leo it's obvious why (if they're like me as a parent and basically a massive pile of smush).

I find writing, or the habit of writing, very tricky to get into. I have to force myself to get some time away from everything (it's now 2200 and everyone is in bed merrily snoozing) and also to be on a computer as I just don't get on writing longform on a phone. Turns out you don't get much time like that with the little rascals in your life. And that's all good with me. The more full my life gets, the happier I've become.

Lunching with Daddy

Togged up in the carrier

This is a better seat to travel in mummy

Today's activity was a trip into Manchester to meet Tom's colleagues and get some lunch. It took me ages to decide how to get there; train, tram, drive, bus, combination. In the end I opted to drive to Salford and get a tram into Manchester.

I timed the drive out with a snooze and then bundled him into the carrier for the tram journey. He loved it and was his normal smiley little self with everyone and charmed the socks off them all, then he snoozed in the carrier on the way back after lunch.

He was chatting away to octopus for most of the journey home, we did have a few tears but no full on meltdown. We had a quick catch up coffee with the girls too and he was really lovely again. So interactive and smiley and just his normal lovely self to be around.

I find now that I get so much from the time we spend just the two of us, I feel like I get so much back from the interactions rather than the one way street of the early days. I get a real kick out of watching him take stuff in and seeing him work things out and commit it to memory.

To make up for lack of long sleeps today, I did another 2 hour sleep stint in the carrier with me in the dining room. It allows me to keep him sleeping for quite a while because of the movement and warmth, it also wrecks my back!

I'm also really loving our bedtime routine these days, his bath and then his last feed are so lovely. He's really smiley and cheeky on that feed and listening to him chatting away as he's falling asleep is one of my favourite things. He's just becoming this really big personality as each day goes by and it's such an amazing thing to be part of.

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Duvet day

I woke up feeling pretty grotty this morning and the weather was pretty dreadful, which never helps. We took Sammy out for a walk in the rain for Leo's first snooze, but it was hard work. I'm still so sore from boot camp!

Last night went well, he didn't do a midnight waking which is great, but he did decide that getting up time was 5.30.. Which I hate! I did managed to stay asleep until 2.30 though, expressed and then he woke up at 3.

As I was feeling rubbish, I decided to stay in the house for the rest of the day and just play with my little man and rest up. We read lots, played on the floor lots, did some rolling, did some chatting and we had two snoozes together which was lovely. We managed the last afternoon snooze too (my nemesis), but it only lasted half an hour unfortunately..  Even so, progress is being made. I fell asleep before him for the first snooze and the next thing I knew I was waking up with a happily snoozing cutie next to me. He hadn't has a dummy, just ewan and elephant and cuddles from me.

He is making huge progress at bed time, he is quite noisy about it but doesn't get upset. He just chats away as if he is getting all his talking done for the evening and then he sometimes nods off by himself and other times a quick suck of his dummy and he's gone. I am going to have to record it because it's just the sweetest thing to listen to.

It's amazing how much progress he seems to have made in this last week. He's suddenly so active, so much more vocal, he has more complex emotions surfacing too, such as frustration and amusement. It's so incredible to be a part of and witness all these things that keep occurring and watching our beautiful little man grow. The whole process from conception and onwards is just mind blowing.

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My nemesis - the afternoon snooze!

Every day without fail, Leo's last sleep of the afternoon never fails to frustrate me. The only way I manage to get him to snooze is by feeding him, or as he did the other day, in his carrier and even the carrier option is hit and miss.

If find it incredibly frustrating, yesterday we tried for an hour in total and were so close more than once but he just wouldn't let it go.

We think we may be trying him too early. He happily goes 2 hours between his first two naps so this is a mystery. Today he has just gone 2.5 but he seemed sleepy earlier. He makes quite a distinctive cry noise, it sounds like 'ack' and he was doing that.

So, I think we need to hang on a bit longer and try and read his queues more effectively and go from there!

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That's more like it

As always, the swaddling worked wonders. He stirred at just before midnight and I tried just ewan, which wasn't enough, so popped the dummy in and he went off again. Of course, I then didn't get back to sleep until I got up at 2 and expressed. He then went until 3.30 before a feed and then until 6.30 which is great.

I really want to get rid of this midnight waking, mum reckons most people get rid of the early hours waking, but I like to get up and express then anyway so I don't find it an issue.. For now! I thought I might set my alarm for just before midnight and put ewan on pre-emptively and see if that helps, I don't like relying on the dummy but it's working right now and the most important thing for me is Leo getting enough sleep.

It was also totally dark and no white noise which is progress. I'm always a bit torn with removing the white noise as I think it helps with the self soothing, but it certainly doesn't help with our quality of sleep as I certainly sleep much deeper without it. I would just love to get back to the 6hrs straight sleep that I had prior to the first unswaddle attempt.

Sleep experts reckon it can take up to two weeks to adjust a habit, so we will see if two weeks from now the midnight waking has gone.. Not convinced it will as surely the dummy is a habit in itself at that time! Oh the confusion


Leo isn't quite as happy about the bobble hats as me it would seem

Little pink cheeks!

The weather has turned cold and frosty, which for me and what I do every day is a preference to rain as it's so much easier to get things done.. By things I mean walking Sammy and keeping Leo asleep for more than an hour on the first snooze.

I am really stiff from boot camp, so I am planning to walk into town later to loosen off, do a little bit of shopping and mooch about until the bus back.. Or maybe even walk back, baby snoozing and will dependant.

Tom is working from home this week too, which is brilliant. It's so nice having him there in the morning for wake up and the occasional cuddle.



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Freedom funtime

As part of moving him to the new cot, we thought we would unswaddle him at the same time. He's rolling over really well now and all the info says to unswaddle when they are doing this.. Well, be damned with what the specialist say, I want my baby to have restful sleep and I want to sleep too!

He was harder to settle off initially, we put this down to the fact that his snoozing yesterday was pretty rubbish and he missed one entirely. He then woke up, hysterical, at 11pm. This was exactly what he did the last time we unswaddle him and the only way to settle him was to feed him.

Next he started thrashing about at midnight, I used ewan and comforters to settle him off; which took a good half an hour. He then did the same at one, I did the same and then he managed until 3am.  I fed him then as he wouldn't comfort back to sleep and I popped him back in his cot before he was fully asleep, so that took a dummy and almost half an hour to settle him again. He stirred again at 5 and I managed to settle him off and I think he managed until 6.30 when I gave in and fed him and then he did another hour after me spending time settling him again.

He doesn't break out of his swaddle, he doesn't show signs of attempting to roll over whilst swaddled either, so I am going to continue. People recommend gradual unswaddling which is probably the approach we will take eventually and I think I want to do it when I can safely use a blanket with him and tuck his arms in with that. I just don't get on with the sleeping bags for him.

My theory is that when he actively pulls covers off his face, then I shall probably get a giant muslin and use that to tuck him in and go from there! Again, I fell foul to the 'everyone says' trap!

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Big boy bedtime

Nothing like a good alliteration!

Anyway, we moved the cot into our room yesterday. It's a really old cot that mum bought a new matress for and the fact that it is quite slimline works well in our room... Even if it does have really disturbing decals on it!

We popped him in it just to play about to begin with and he thought the best plan was definitely to get tangled in the bars!

Ooh, this looks like fun!

I wanted it to still be like a side car cot, so we needed to get a little bit inventive with some DIY, something Tom and I are useless at tbf! So, B&Q cut us some MDF to size but we needed something to raise it up. The idea was to use blocks of wood on the corners, however, they can't cut a big piece to little blocks for you as they are too small.. Ah, panic? Tom suggested that we just saw it up when we get home.. I immediately rejected this idea as requiring too much effort, so proceeded to scour the aisles in the place for something that would do the trick, with no interaction, other than a purchase, required. And we found it, a piece of plastic used to connect guttering sections to each other and the wall.. Nice flat top and bottom, good strong plastic and the exact height we needed!

It's amazing what laziness can achieve!

This morning I got roped into a boot camp my mate was doing. I have done boot camps with her before, so was under no illusion it was going to be easy and by crikey, it's killed me. I think I did a million squats, lunges, burpees and tuck jumps.. Everything I actively seek to avoid in my every day fitness campaigns but all the activities I should do to boost my flat booty! I will update on my demise tomorrow, it's not going to be pretty

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Final jabs complete

He had his last set of jabs until the 1yr mark yesterday. Again, I hated every second and the poor little man has bruised legs from it.. But they're done.

He escaped the temperature again and slept brilliantly, but he is a little lacking in tolerance today, so I won't be risking swimming and a car journey. His car resilience has been pretty low this week anyway and I just can't hack it tbh, I hate it!

Today is potentially a stay home day, but the weather is so beautiful that it seems a shame. I may walk into Knutsford and meet a couple of the girls for lunch, it just depends on snooze timing for spud.

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Developmental step complete

Rolling prep

Leo has been showing signs of rolling from back to front for a fee weeks, but in the late week he has started to be a little more determined and today he cracked it and it was so lovely to see.

I had left him on his play mat whilst I went and got his clothes and when I came back he was on his side, facing away from me, consequently he didn't know I was there so I sat and observed (and recorded it thankfully!)

I reckon he must have been at it for around 5 mins in total, I got 3 mins of it. He just kept getting stuck on his shoulder, I reckon if he had known I was there he would've just created until I went to assist, but instead, he soldiered on. He finally twigged that he needed to lift his head to free his shoulder up to pull from under him. He probably won't try it again now for weeks, that's what happened with his front to back roll. His little face once he had managed it was a picture, so proud of himself

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Giggles and grizzles

One of the latest developments is Leo giggling. It's just the cutest thing in the world and makes your heart want to burst! I've never been one for repetition, but when your baby is laughing at something, you will repeat it until the cows come home

We've been doing incredibly well in the car recently and then today we had a mega meltdown. I was on the way back from the chiropractors and he just unleashed. I fed him as he had gone for 2.5 hours but still it continued. I stopped a couple of times but then I just had to get home, poor little man was making his throat sore from screaming, it's heart breaking. I was meant to be going meeting my friend at 2 but I have cancelled as I just can't put him through it again.

Poor little puffy eyes

He sat for ages with me in the car when we got in and just cuddled, still managing his lovely little smiles from time to time.

He only slept for 20mins this morning, he was merrily sleeping when I got to the chiropractic centre and I had to wake him up, I suspect this was half the issue. He is now snoozing in his pram after a massive meltdown when I put him down in it, his sleep is quite light though so I am having to just sit and watch him to catch it if he stirs and keep him snoozing. He needs to sleep well now and feel better.

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Party time success

All of the new mummies went out on Saturday night and we had a great time. The boys or grandma's were left in charge and off we trotted. All glammed up and looking stunning, we hit the town! We all coped incredibly well, as did those at home. Sunday was pretty painful though!

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That's more like it

Last night was much better thankfully. He went down at 7 as he hadn't really slept in the day so was shattered, he then woke at 8.30 for a top up I'd imagine and then went almost 7 hours.. And so did I!?

It was so nice being be to just relax and feed him without thinking I was doing something wrong. He happily suckled away for about 20 mins on each feed and then would unlatch. That woke me so I moved him back into his crib without a peep.

The little terror did decide that 5.30 was the best time to wake up though and has been quite the little grump since.

I say that, but he had an amazing time at swimming and was the most involved he's ever been, he's even started kicking his legs about.

Nap times are becoming notably less committed. I have to work really hard to keep him sleeping for longer than 20 mins! I'm currently stood in the conservatory, pushing his pram back and forth after walking to the park to settle him down. I keep praying nothing crazy noisy drives past the house!

Stick with your instincts

Snoozing at the breastfeeding clinic

So after my melt down last night, I had a good talk with Tom and my mum and both just said to me that I need to follow my instincts and do what feels right for us. This is something I have harped on about before and it's annoying that I ventured away from that with this, I guess that's part of being a novice though.

If Leo wants to wake to feed at night, then that just what I am going to do. If he wants to feed to sleep then that also what I am going to do. I have put him back in his swaddle until we move the cot down at the weekend and then we will see how that goes. I am sure it will all take time to settle down as I have messed with our routine, but I feel better just doing what we were doing and going with it.

Kate, the lactation consultant that came to see me the other day, posted two very apt articles on Facebook today. She must have felt my pain. One was  the benefits of night time breastfeeding  and the other was about  the benefits of comfort feeding  

Now, I know you can always find an article that fits your exact opinion, but I don't think there is anything wrong with that. It does annoy me that I feel I need to have other people justify my gut instincts. I just need to trust in me and my little family unit and don't mess with things that are doing just fine. If Leo needs me in the night then he can have me, I genuinely don't care. I do care about introducing anxiety into a situation where I have worked very hard to never have it, even throughout pregnancy. When he is ready to sleep through he will and I will be ready to wake up and express even single time!

Sleep training sleeplessness

Leo's sleeping has never been a source of stress for me until someone pointed out that you can't feed them to sleep forever. He was regularly going 6 hours first stint at least.

Since starting the sleep training mission, he hasn't gone more than 4 without a battle that results in me being awake for hours, stressing about what we are doing. I've come to enjoy the 'if it doesn't feel right it isn't' approach to parenting and I am starting to feel like that with this.

He is settling within 15mins at night, but it's as if his sleep isn't as restful for some reason, this could be simply down to no longer being swaddled but could also mean his sleep has more anxiety. So does that mean I should still be swaddling him?

I feel like we haven't given it a full chance however, as we haven't made the most of creating a sensory environment and he is actually too big for the crib and should be moved into his cot. I didn't really want to move him into his own room yet, but realistically, I think it is the only way to achieve the environment suggested as optimum and would also give us our space back.

It's frustrating as we don't actually have a living room outside of our bedroom, so I feel pretty restricted by this, but I just need to get my head around the fact that we don't have that and people cope without that too so just get on with it. I'd be lying if I said it is easy for me to get over that as I find it a daily source of stress at the minute.. However, we aren't in a position to buy our own place right now so what can you do?!

I can feel myself getting really mad every night at the minute though. Not at Leo, just the situation. I want to sort stuff in the day, but it's impossible by myself as I can't move the cot from upstairs, the TV out of the nursery, the bean bags (don't get me started on the f*&+ING bean bags) out of the nursery, set the sensory stuff up (just getting around to buying distilled water for the tube is apparently impossible) pick Ewan up from our friends that live about 3 miles away (also an impossible task it would seem) have enough space to do everything and have it all ready for that evening. Tom doesn't get in until 6 and then we start the evening routine of tea and then bed time for Leo. We are then captive in silence and darkness in our end of the house, so can't even do anything once Leo is sleeping or we will wake him up.

Weekends we apparently are incapable of achieving anything, the day just doesn't flow well as you are constantly fitting stuff in around nap times and having a tiny bit of a life if possible and spending time together.

I think tomorrow, I will sack off my baby sign class as it just mucks up my day. I will walk into Knutsford in the morning and post the last eBay item I have to get rid of, so that can stop playing on my mind (I recommend never selling anything on eBay when you have a small child and only one car) . I will then attempt to find some distilled water, although there is a chance that I won't be able to carry that or fit it under the pushchair and then will start moving everything out of the nursery.

I have issues with patience at the best of times, but this has been rumbling for a few weeks now so stands to make me really mad and that is something I want to avoid at all costs!

Latest noticeable development

Over the past week it has been really obvious that something has changed with the way Leo sees things, specifically people.

He tips his head back and just stares right at you with such intent that I would love to know what's going on. I read up and about now they have depth perception so can only assume it's something to do with that and he is just relearning the finer details of everyone's faces. I absolutely love it, mum claims she finds it a little unnerving! I'm not sure what she thinks he is going to do, make a sudden leap for the jugular or something!

It reminds me of how he stared as a newborn, you feel like he is just absorbing every inch of your face into memory.

He also clearly seeks Tom and I out if he hears our voices and follows us around the room.

There have been no further physical development that is obvious. He still occasionally rolls from his front to his back, but rolling the other way is of no interest to him at all. It's really interesting watching all the NCT babies develop in totally different ways, each one has totally different motivation to do things and it's really a treat to watch. Nature at its best

Snot monster

Super serious moment!

Whilst there doesn't appear to be any signs of hand, foot and mouth still today; last night was a bit disrupted. The poor little man was struggling with excess phlegm and it was really upsetting his sleep. He started fidgeting and struggling about 11 and was on and off until 2am when he woke up to feed and then was just so congested I couldn't put him down, to make matters worse, I woke up with a horrible stabbing pain in my side. It's one I do get periodically, but not ideal when you're trying to soothe an unhappy baby.

At this point I was so tired from the 3 hours of disruption and pain that I had to wake Tom up to take over. He made me a hot water bottle for my tummy and took Leo off into the other room. This allowed me to have another couple of hours sleep and Tom managed to get Leo back off to sleep for an hour or so.

It's so distressing that there is basically nothing you can do to help. He has the drops, the vapouriser, the chest rub and I burn the essential oils whilst we are awake but the phlegm is moving when he breaths so glues him up and upsets him.

Super Grandma she-she services

I had my haircut again today and grandma she-she was on baby duty. I'm not sure how people manage something as simple as a haircut if they don't have the amazing grandparent services that I am spoilt with!

I am going out on Saturday with all of the girls I am friends with through NCT. It's our first brave outing without babies and drinking since we met and I think we are all torn between really looking forward to it and also panicking about leaving the babes behind.

Tom has been practicing settling him to sleep and he does a brilliant job, it's just bottle feeding in the night that is new. However, I have total faith in Tom and his ability to deal with everything and he has such a great bond with Leo that it's just not going to be an issue. I won't be back really late, but I have no intention of being in a fit state to handle our child!

It's also a strange sensation, now that I am mother it feels a bit wrong wearing high heels and a short dress as I would happily have done so before.. However, I haven't got anything else to wear so inappropriate it is!

A lurking terror!

My sisters youngest has hand, foot and mouth and he was here on Wednesday when mum and my sister were watching Leo for me (I had breast scan appointment) the incubation period is 3 - 7 days and I'm a nervous wreck.

Leo has been a little random with his feeding over the last couple of days, but he does have a slightly snuffly nose too which could explain it. I have kept him away from the other babies I know since we found out and I feel like I'm playing a horrible waiting game.

I noticed a little white dot on his gum today and also a little red one too, I'm am hoping on everything that he has just scratched himself or something and it's not that. He hasn't got a temperature yet at least and it does tend to come with one.

My sisters poor little boy hasn't wanted to eat or drink and has been up every half an hour for the past few night, screaming his little head off as his mouth blisters are so sore.

There is nothing that you can give them either, you just have to ride it out. I don't know how I will cope having to watch my little man suffer and not be able to get comfort from the boob either. It'll be horrific. I can express and syringe to try and keep him hydrated but on a selfish note, it's going to wreak havoc with my boob that doesn't express properly!

Fingers, toes, everything possible crossed he doesn't have it.

A small rant

For anyone who knows me well enough, especially since embarking on a health and fitness journey, they will know how much it annoys me when PT's merrily tout supplements to normal gym goers. Most normal gym users can get absolutely everything they need from good, clean food and this is the form that benefits the body the most and allows for optimum absorption.

There is no scientific backing to supplements and no proof they are anything more than a money spinner. I personally think they stand to do more harm than good when used by people who do not require high levels of protein etc beyond what they can healthily eat.

Anyway, my friend and I (both breastfeeding) went to spin today at one of the local leisure centres. She regularly attended whilst she was pregnant so the PT who took the class was enquiring as to how she was getting on. When she said that she feels weaker than she expected to and couldn't lift the weights she could even during her last week of pregnancy. His suggestion: use gatoraid whilst you're working out and take a good supplement.

What a tit. Caffeine loaded shite and a tin of powdered bullshit for dessert, he must be insane. I wouldn't full my body with that even if I wasn't breastfeeding, it's scary what these so called professionals dish out via ways of advice. If we weren't quite as switched on as we are, we may have gone with that advice and have ourselves some wired babies and do untold damage at the same time!

You're hirrarious mummy

Over the last week or so, Leo has started showing genuine amusement in things that I do and it's just the cutest thing. There is the start of a full on belly laugh in the making and I basically spend a fair amount of time trying to get him to do it. So far, peekaboo works sometimes, blowing raspberries on his neck and jigging him about and pretending he's falling down work pretty well too. It's my latest obsession tbf!

Tom had Leo yesterday as he wanted me to have a break. He thought I could go to a spa and chill, what I really craved was a day shopping! Not the most relaxing thing to do but it's a piece of normality that having a baby makes quite tricky. I found it utterly exhausting and I missed him so much as there were babies everywhere; but it was a lovely break and the boys had fun as always.

It got to about 16:30 last night and Leo was tired but we missed his queues. Tom went to see if he could get him to snooze and he ended up quite frantic, wouldn't take the bottle or any of our normal tricks, bearing in mind we are trying to get out of the feed to sleep habit. In the end, after 50 unsettled minutes (not all frantic of course) we gave in and I fed him. He was a very unhappy little man and it broke my heart, I felt so awful.

Getting him to settle himself off to sleep was a little harder in the evening too as I guess he was so tired. It took a bit if teamwork, I would pick him up a cuddle whilst Tom got him to take the dummy  otherwise he would just get so upset that he wouldn't take it. It took 3 attempts and then he settled. He is now at over 5hrs first stint and I am having to express as I am on catch-up from the day anyway! I expected him to wake before now, typical really bless him

Daddy snoozing

Self soothing success

So team Burgin rocked last night! I had originally planned to face the self sooth (not cry it out) journey at the weekend, but Tom announced we were starting it last night.

Luckily we have a really good routine in place at night anyway, we just needed to make a couple of adjustments. The main issue with our night routine was feeding to sleep. It means that I am quite tied to that responsibility, which in itself wasn't the main motivation as I would just cope and work around that as it's not forever. The main worry was we would struggle when he was no longer breastfeeding.

We just switched his last feed to after his bath and introduced a bedtime story with Daddy. Whilst reading I watched for sleepy signs and when he rubbed his eyes, we put him in his swaddle sack and Tom carried on reading.

Half way through this the tesco order arrived so I just switched on elephant, it has star projections and lullaby music, and left him in his cot with his comforter. Watching him, I decided he needed his arms free to aid his self soothing. He was fairly calm to begin with then started to cry, when he got quite upset I picked him out, cuddled for a few seconds then put him back in.

The cries this time were far less dramatic and I sat down behind the cot. He watched his elephant and had a few minor false starts but all in all he was asleep about 20 mins after we started.

He woke at 11.30 for a feed, earlier than normal but still 4hrs from the time of his previous feed. Again, I put him back in his cot before he was fully asleep and he wasn't hugely impressed. I switched on elephant but he was still quite unhappy so Tom suggested the dummy. When he eventually took it, he went off in seconds.

He started fidgeting at 2.30 and I popped his dummy in when he was threatening to wake, asleep and dummy spat out in seconds.

Another feed at 4.30 and no need for elephant this time, just dummy and straight off.

Whilst each time was a little more disruptive for me than normal, I feel we have made a massive leap. I know each night will be different, but it has boosted our confidence. As always, our little lion man was just so easy and compliant to the whole process. What a little hero.

It's daddy time today as Tom wanted me to have some me time, so I am off shopping whilst they do baby sign and baby things!

Phew

After a couple of false starts last night, little man went off to sleep at 8.30. We always used to have a red light on all night and fairly loud white noise, but we had stepped it down over the last week or so and he had been fine so we assumed he still was. However, because he was struggling to settle last night we switched it back in and he settled straight away.

He woke at 12.30 and then started to stir at 2.30 but I left him to it and after about 10 mins of thrashing around on and off, he settled again until 4.30. He then slept until 7.30 which is unheard of! He must have been so tired as he didn't sleep properly in the day either.

In fact, yesterday he was in quite a strange mood. He wasn't his normal smiley self and was generally quite reserved. I know if you read about the developmental leaps, this can happen but it doesn't stop a mother worrying, especially when he has a new little noise he has started making which makes me think he sounds unhappy.. Mum doesn't reckon he is though and he is just adding to his vocabulary.

I'm sat waiting for my breast clinic appointment now and have realised I have forgotten my breast pump.. I'm hoping they won't take the 3 hours they say they can as he hasn't fed since 7.30 this morning! They will be fit to bust in another 3 hours!

Let the sleep regression commence

Or hopefully it's just a one off! I've never had such a bad night with him. We did 4 hours then waking ever hour after midnight, even managed a 15 min stint at one point!

There is a common sleep regression at 4 months stage and it sounds very similar to this, I just hope if it is, it doesn't last very long! I was just beginning to dare to brave not going to bed the minute he does and grasping a bit of evening back to myself. Clearly I can't risk that just yet!

To add insult to injury, he did 8 hours then 4 the night before! I suppose if he swaps nightly then it won't be too bad, if he does it every night I will be a zombie! Just as I'm getting myself back into fitness and eating well too.. Ah well, this time too shall pass and if it does turn out to be regression, I shall use this opportunity to address the fact that I feed him to sleep. We will get his cot down this weekend and set up all of his sensory things so that we can start to teach him how to self settle, no crying it out though. It will be distraction and watching his queues very closely to make sure we put him into bed at the right time. If we really struggle, there is a lady whose book I bought Cheshire Baby Whisperer  and if reading this doesn't help, she does offer home visits and is very reasonable. I know a girl who has used her and has great success now with the sleep routine

Modern life is tricky

The problem with mobile phones is they're too good. They are now so capable of taking up all our time that sometimes we forget to leave them alone.

When I say we, I mean me. Obviously. It's much easier to sit and look at puppies doing stupid stuff that it is to get off my ass and help out. So from today whenever I'm at home I'm no longer using my phone unless it's totally necessary.

I want to be able to connect with Sarah and Leo constantly, and whilst I'm at work this means I get messages and photos and videos of what they are up to, and it makes me feel included even if I'm not there. But when I'm at home, I have that available constantly and I want to use that time as best I can. This doesn't mean I'm going to be follow them around constantly, although that's actually what I do mostly anyway because I love them both so much, but it means I can concentrate on making things work, doing the washing,  helping make the house liveable for Sarah and Leo whilst I'm away.

I've never felt so happy and loved and content, and I want my family to always feel the same. I know that's not always going to be possible but the more I can do to help the better I'll feel and hopefully the better the family will run.

Ever changing signals

I think this is an area that I find myself lacking in, I forget to check that the signals Leo is giving me are continuing to be the same. Mum just said to me the other day that he is probably bored now rather than hungry so frequently and if he can be distracted easily then do that and see if I can get him to go longer and feed longer when he feeds.

I have done this for a few days now and it's been working brilliantly. Each feed is for about 10 mins on each side and he goes about 3 hours. He is also much more content through the day, not that he is ever much less than content, but he's definitely more peaceful than he was.

I went into work this morning to conduct an interview and Tom came along to take Leo for a walk whilst I did this. He slept all the way to Manchester, woke for a feed and a quick cuddle from the girls in the office,  had another snooze whilst Tom walked him, came to me whilst I had a meeting with one of the engineers, fed and then slept all the way home. Good babying

Once we got home, he had some baby  play time by himself for about half an hour and then a walk to the park with the sun setting, which was lovely. He was awake for most of the walk and was watching the shadows on his pram, then nodded off as I got home. He will be well over 3 hours once he has woken up so has done brilliantly again.

Now that he is that bit older, he is so capable of entertaining himself for short periods, it's lovely to watch. I got all tearful watching him today because it's such an amazing thing to witness, this little sponge absorbing and learning from every single thing he comes across. I just wish I could see things how he does so I can fully grasp each moment.

Workout weekend

Spin yesterday morning again and circuits down at the local park with Tom, Leo and Sammy this morning. I felt fairly weak in spin, I think mainly as I wasn't 100% last week, but I felt pretty good today.

I have been pleasantly surprised at how well my body has taken to being back in exercise. The spin session on a Saturday morning is nice as I also get to run a few errands in town afterwards, I get the me feeling back again. I don't feel the need to rush anymore either as I know Tom has it all in hand as long as I leave him armed with milk.

He's a great dad, I'm so proud of how much effort he puts into it and just how at ease he is with Leo. It's so fantastic to witness and truly melts my heart. I didn't doubt for a second that he wouldn't be hands on as he is such a loving person, but neither of us had any comprehension of how much we would enjoy being parents.

Halloween for real this time

Some of our friends hosted a little Halloween party on Saturday. It started at 4.30 so we all knew the were in unknown baby territory at this point. We all have babies around the same age so know what the final hours of the day hold in store, and being our of routine makes for fun times with babies.

They all handled it pretty well, Leo started to get tired just before 8 so we left then, he was very upset in the car and I was worried he wouldn't settle into bed when we got home. I had had two drinks so couldn't feed him to comfort him, but he dropped off quite quickly with me just rocking him and slept well through the night too.

My sister had a lovely little plaque made for us for our wedding day, so I ordered one to commemorate Leo joining our family. They both hang on the door to or end of the house, absolutely love them

We had a lovely lunch with my sister and her family today, mum is getting used to her new oven so we were pretty spoilt with how much we had. I am so full I can barely move, even now and it's 8pm.

Leo had a first experience in his bouncer and zonked out on my knee!